Back to Day 1

Last night I smoked five cigarettes.

I went out on a business meeting, ended up in a group of people most of whom smoked. I had a fair few drinks and chose to smoke.

Triggers: Social situation with people I didn't really know (I hate that), alcohol reduced willpower, lonely in a new city and missing the girl I saw the night before, tired with all the flights... and the crazy belief that just one won't hurt me.

Today I'm already feeling the cravings that I fought tooth and nail to get over. I'm run down and carrying shame.

Part of me thinks that I should write these cigarettes off as "slips". Luckily I've already learned that that's a non-starter. The Truth is my only ally, and the truth is I smoked.

Big Breath.

I'm not giving up on quitting. This will not beat me. I am quit again and half a day smoke free. I've done a month before, and I'll do another month and another. All that it takes.