Day 18 - Small pleasures

My quit is going well. I'm here on day 18 feeling more positive about this quit than any other.

And I'm wondering why that's the case. I like to know why things work, so that I can make sure I keep doing whatever that is. And last night, talking to Martin, I think I realised what the shift had been.

I imagined that quitting was about not doing something: not smoking. At one level, it is as simple as that. I am quit if and only if I don't smoke. I believe that kind of thinking used to make quitting hard for me. It was all about resisting and struggling.

This time, I've really focussed on rediscovering what was underlying my craving.

I have a belief (and no science to back it), that over a period of time the craving to smoke substitutes itself for natural and essential processes in my body, mind and soul. For example, when I was tired, I would smoke; and over time the "stop and rest" signal became substituted with "have a smoke". Eventually I didn't even register the "stop and rest" part, and just went to "have a smoke".

Yes, smoking might give it's own chemically induced cravings, but I think that the "wires" get crossed on normal impulses, and that nicotine then takes over those systems.

The irony, of course, is that by smoking instead of the natural and healthy responses of resting/ eating/ crying/ shouting/ breathing/ praying, I am in fact doing nothing . I am not dealing with requests from me.

So, if my quitting strategy is to simply not smoke, i.e. do nothing, then in fact I am not really dealing with my addiction. I am almost perpetuating it.

This quit I have really grappled with the question "If what I am feeling and thinking right now, isn't in fact about smoking, but something else, what would that be?" and, "How can I respond healthily to the need that my body, mind and soul is signalling for me?".

Particularly powerful has been to think, "What if the feeling I have right now was actually a spiritual yearning from my soul. What small thing could I do right now that would satisfy that yearning for the divine."

In other words, this quit has been about doing something healthy, instead of not doing anything.