Day 22 - Dionysus and the bodily sense of pleasure and ecstacy

Last year I went on a David Deida workshop. I was still a smoker. I hated it. Out of the 100 or so people there, I was one of only three that smoked, and the other two felt just as bad about it as I did.

This weekend, I had an awesome time at the Sex, Passion and Enlightenment workshop in Byron Bay. It was very similar to the Deida event except that Satyen Raja didn't have the arrogance that David Deida still exudes.

I also didn't smoke so I didn't spend every moment of the workshop wondering:
1) When the next break would be;
2) Whether I could just leave quietly for a moment for a cigarette, because the next break looked like a long time coming;
3) Where I could hide the butts;
4) If my practice partner (can't explain, you have to go to get it) could smell the smoke on me when I came back in;
5) If said practice partner disapproved as much of my smell of smoke as I did;
6) If it was the smoke or just my general lack of fitness that meant my body was screaming in pain so quickly;
7) If the stuff I was coughing up was due to the particular yoga positions, or just my smokers lungs; and
8) Why everyone else seemed to be loving the course and I wasn't.

Yes, I've done a lot of work on all this stuff between the two workshops, and it's always easier for me second time round, but I am still amazed at how much not smoking can transform this type of experience for me. It was a truly amazing and transforming workshop. I think the highlight for me was a date with two women (simultaneously). The challenge of serving the Goddess in each of them at the same time for the evening was much more than just twice as hard as a normal date. Previously, I'd have wasted half the time smoking.

There was one smoker on this course. I started with fear that I might be tempted to ask him for a cigarette, moved through anger that he dared to smoke, reaching compassion for him and me, and finally loving him anyway. Very similar to how I'm treating my own addict. I recommended the QuitNet to my smoking friend.

Today I'm really tired, and I'm working, and I'm getting the craving. I can't do that much about the tiredness yet, except to remind myself how proud I am I've got this far.

Oh, just so as you know, I have yet to experience anything that matches the feeling of watching a concert with each arm around a beautiful woman, and feeling love in all three hearts.