Don't over analyse your relationship

Dinner and dancing with RCG last night. We played the truth game of each of us taking turns to revealing "odd" stuff about ourselves. She's the first girl I've danced with that I'm actually going out with (except for Scorpio who was still learning), and it felt very different.

My fears about what would happen when I moved to Sydney kept crossing wires with me enjoying the relationship whilst it lasted. I so don't want to plan this, or let the fear distract from the moment. Ultimately, I talked to her about it. She was in the same place of not wanting to fix the obstacles at the cost of really getting to know each other. She said she'd be more cautious about the relationship, I'm not sure what that means, but then I wonder if it really matters that I know. To be honest (the point of this whole thing), I'm fearful that means no sex for a while, or perhaps ever. And having said that, I'm now OK with it. It's not going to stop me pursuing her and opening her with love, and that is all I truly want to do.

I'm also conscious that I've made it very clear to RCG how I feel about her, and chosen not to play any of the "chase me" games. I'm trusting that, even at 23, she's past the playing games stage. The cost of this authenticity is a potential loss of the fun and romance (as Martin has pointed out to me on many an occasion). I will have to find ways to bring that back in without losing the straightforwardness of my feelings for her. i.e. have fun within the relationship, rather than about the relationship.

One of her revealed fears was claustrophobia (we were speaking about the London underground). Note to self: Don't suffocate her in the relationship. She also explained that she was generally a very anxious person. When she said this, it was a surprise to me, but then it made more sense as I thought it through. Either I'm even more oblivious to people around me than I thought I was, or I genuinely put her more at ease and hence there wasn't anything to notice. Let's go for the second option.