Mother Issues

As well as T, the beautiful woman at the conflict resolution workshop, there was V. V must have been in her late forties or early fifties, and in relatively excellent shape. Her skin was beautifully tanned with not a wrinkle on it. I remember being entranced by her back at one point (as well as some very sexy shoes she was wearing).

V was at the workshop to deal with a conflict with her ex-partner who accused her of not being committed to him and of continually flirting with younger men. V angrily denied both accusations at the start of the workshop, but finally came to some healing when she recognised that she wasn't actually in her heart committed to her ex-partner. She also spent most of the workshop flirting with me. I'm the same age as her daughter.

I was at the workshop to deal with a conflict with my ex-partner who refused to commit to a relationship with me. She, Scorpio, wasn't into commitment. It was an old issue that I'd worked before, but still wanted to take another look at as it was the most recent time I could remember being very angry. Last time I looked at it some oedipal stuff (you know, wanting to have sex with mater and to kill pater) came up. I was also very attracted to V at the workshop and had to do a lot of boundary work to make sure I didn't get involved and to make sure I wasn't returning the flirt.

What confused me most was that whilst T was a beautiful attractive woman of my sort of age she didn't half turn me on as much as V.

Towards the end of the workshop I recognised that:
- V was enneagram type 2.
- The last older woman I was attracted to was also a type 2, and also had that sexy skin thing going on
- My mum must be a type 2

Heebeejeebees.

But more seriously, I handled the situation with V with sensitivity and tact; she was an attractive woman in her own right; and there will always be a little boy inside of me who is looking for a mom he can have sex with. The challenge for me as a man is to not shame my little boy and his fantasies, but also to keep clean healthy and real boundaries.

Thank God I'm in therapy.