Day 1 All Over Again

Everything looks foggy. I can't seem to hold it down.

My inner junkie is saying:

- There's no point trying now, this is the third quit in a row this year. Just relax and smoke for a while until you build up steam for another big effort.

- Don't post on the forum. They're all strangers - what do they know. They'll give you useless electronic hugs.

- You can't concentrate for work, and it's a big deadline this week. You haven't got the energy to quit right now.

- You need to get your survival systems back in place, like sorting out a new gym and personal trainer first. You can't quit without those.

- So what if you're going to let down your friends. Have they called to see how you're going in the last two weeks? No? So why should you be afraid of telling them you've relapsed. It's not so bad anyway.

- It's only your pride and selfish ego that's stopping you from smoking. You don't want to be like that, so smoke and get over it.

- I know you quit together with your friend last night, but I BET you he's already smoking right now.

He's winning the internal debate.

OK. Realised I'm tired and vulnerable. Decided to go home now and sleep instead.