Advice to a man on a dissatisfied wife

Something I posted today on The Quitnet in response to the question:

So, if the wife is unhappy with their sex life, is it all the guy's fault?

I don't do "fault". Going down the road of fault leads to blame leads to recrimination leads to ..... nowhere.

If the wife is unhappy, then the man needs to decide whether he's willing to make her happier, or to get out. In either option he must commit fully.

Sometimes it isn't about the sex as such, it's more about the relationship and the man's willingness to open his heart and be vulnerable with his wife. Communication, touch, non-sexual play is good for this one.

Sometimes the woman is simply aching to be blown apart by love, and to feel sexually ravished by her partner. Throwing caution into the wind and just going for it, exploring fantasies and even just making more noise, is good with this one.

Sometimes she uses "unhapiness with sex" as a way to hurt a man, knowing that sexual performance is a very sore spot. Here it's either time to get out, or to start working the fundamentals in the relationship again.

Sometimes he withdraws from sex as a way to make her feel undesired and hurt. Personally I think this is inexcusible for a man. If you want her, take her. If you want to simply hurt her, get out.

And only your own internal loving wisdom can tell you which situation you are in, and how to act. Remember, life's experiences have not made you bitter, they have made you seasoned and strong.

I'm conscious that all this comes from my own marital experience, and I wonder if my attachment to the past comes from bitterness or seasoned strength.