Scorpio

Last night I went out to celebrate the new job with she who will be known as Scorpio. I had a relationship with her for about three weeks in August last year. Purists will argue that only three weeks doesn't count as a relationship. Purists can get fucked.

Scorpio is possibly the most powerful woman I've ever met. In her sex life she's a complete dominatrix who enjoys giving and receiving pain, and in her normal daily life she's a personal injury lawyer. OK, so not much difference there. She is razor sharp in her mind and senses - NOTHING gets passed her. She even has some form of ESP: which basically means that she knows stuff that she really shouldn't. After we broke up I consciously made the choice to be her friend because I didn't fancy my chances as her enemy.

An example to illustrate Scorpio: On her back is a very large tattoo of a scorpion. Not only is the symbol entirely appropriate, but also it was her first ever tattoo. Most people (including me) get a nice small one first to see if they take to the thing, but not Scorpio. She knew what she wanted, exactly how large and where, and she got it. The tattoo artist spluttered and did what she was told, whilst Scorpio didn't even wince at the pain.

So why do I have anything to do with this woman? Well, not only does she have a divine and beautiful physical body, but also because she is perhaps the most sexually alive person I've ever met. Sexual energy flows around her like a constant weather-system: bright sunshine one moment and then lightning storm the next. She can go from destroying Kali to surrendered Aphrodite in seconds and then flip back again. One moment she is as hard as a rock, the next she flows like water. Being with her is like playing with snakes: I feel alive and challenged. And it's so much more than physical sex. She knows how to mind fuck, and my mind is my biggest sexual organ.

Another illustration: She wears the most formal business suit, and then tops her nails with black varnish and blue glitter, or puts on a spiked collar. She'll openly speak the hardest self-effacing truth about her life, but then be too embarrassed to blow her nose in public.

I broke up with her because she wasn't interested in a committed relationship, and at the time I couldn't deal with the jealousy of even the thought of her being with another, never mind any reality. I didn't even pretend I could change her position or get comfortable with my jealousy, so I thanked her and left. She respected my choice.

(For months after we split up, every time I looked up in the night sky it seemed like Scorpio was directly above me.)

So it is ironic that the first time I'm in a polygamous relationship (the two woman date at the Satyen Raja workshop), I get a phone call mid-date from Scorpio, who incidentally hasn't called me in months. Somehow she knew exactly when I was getting over my monogamy-and-control thing. So right now, I'm dating three women, and hence there is room for Scorpio in my life. Go figure.

Of course, she's still skeptical about the whole thing and wants to go slowly. Not because she's back-peddling from polygamy, but because she doesn't believe that the other two relationships are real - they're just workshop practice. And of course she's right. I know that I am a one woman man at heart, and that's where I'll end up. More likely than not I won't chose her, and I don't hide that from her (as if I could hide anything from her). Right now, though, I'm enjoying the practice and she's willing to play from a safe distance.

It won't surprise you, dear reader, to know that beneath all that spiky exterior lies a tender, beautiful and deeply wounded girl. Occasionally, when I'm strong in my loving, she trusts me enough to show herself. Those moments of surrender are priceless, and how often they occur is my measure of where I'm at with Scorpio and with loving the greater Goddess that is this world.