Day 50 - Helter Skelter Weekend

My time in Brisbane is running out, and I'm trying to squeeze in time with my friends, dancing friends, RCG and my family, and I'm also working desperately hard to try and finish the project with my current employer. It's not going well, and my boss is looking for heads to roll. I'm in a tough place and I have no idea how I'm going to get through it with a win for anyone, let alone a win for me. Very stressful, and I have four more days to go before I leave.

I finally had a break over the bank holiday weekend.

Friday - Dancing
Out for dinner at South Bank with dancing friends as a goodbye. Afterwards spent time at the street festival, dancing to a salsa band and a DJ. Great fun.

Saturday - Birthday Party
My best friend's wife's birthday party in Noosa over the weekend - an excellent night, except for him accidentally spilling a glass of red wine on RCG's white skirt. She handled that beautifully, no major drama, a quick change of clothes and back to the party. I was very pleased that I managed to completely avoid smoking, despite being very drunk in a cocktail bar with ample smokers around me.

RCG and I signed up for a cruise over New Year with my friends, one of whom is getting married on one of the islands we visit. The large sum of money, together with the plan so far into the future, made our signatures on the booking form seem like so much more. Scary and yet also comforting.

Sunday - Eternal Sunshine
An intense day with RCG, culminating in a difficult conversation where I managed to say the wrong thing on many an occasion. Intense jealousy again for me when she mentioned that she was going out for lunch with her ex-boyfriend. I am stuck in the place where my insecure and needy part can't see why she's friends with him; my rational mind knowing that I too have had lunch with ex's and that there is no reason why she can't; and my heart that truly loves and trusts her. Tending to my needy part, that wants to control her, is hard work. She too spoke about her insecurities regarding my parents and their "Indian Bride" project. In the end we tired of the talking and went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That gave us some relief.

Monday - All Four Turns
In the morning we spoke again about our fears, and recognised how intense the last few days had been. Being so deep in love has made me acutely sensitive to all my emotions, and has also increased their strength. In the course of an hour with her I went from fear, to anger, to sadness, and then ecstatic joy. She reported a similar roller coaster, and after a late breakfast, it finally felt like we had returned back on the ground.

I took mum out to lunch, to make up for the time I haven't spent with her, and instead have been with RCG. Despite my best intentions, I ended up drifting into thinking about RCG. In the end I texted her: "Each time we are together my love for you deepens. Each time we part, it hurts even more." She called me back after lunch with her ex to say she agreed.