love freely: October 2004

I was asked this question today by a Warrior. My response:

In January this year, my father and I were talking about a financial investment I was considering, and he said:

"It's risky, and you may lose everything, but it's just money. Even if you lose the money, you will have gained something. You have to take the risk."

I had been waiting all my life to hear those words.

When we lived in Africa, my father was the consumate businessman. He did well, though it was stressful for him, and he often came home without much energy left for us. However, when my family moved to Australia, exchange rates and financial constraints meant that he didn't have very much left to show for the first part of his life. This, together with observing the constant stress of holding a business together that my father went through, had made me very risk averse. Which is probably why I had chose the professional and very stable employee-only career I chose.

Hidden under this was the fear of failure, and under that a lack of basic trust in myself and my ability look after my self. By rejecting my father's gift of business making and risk taking, I'd been rejecting the self belief, or simply trusting the universe, that risk taking requires.

So when my father spoke, and I actually listened, it finally hit home.

But there's more to this story.

When my father moved to Australia, he didn't have the funds to start up his own business again. He has spent the last fifteen years being an employee, and I have watched him slowly shrivel up under that servitude and lose his self belief. His back is not as straight as it once was.

Today, my father is buying his own business. He's terrified, and speaks to me honestly about his fears, and yet he's doing it. There's a passion in his eyes again. And I don't care about the risk of his new business failing. It's not about the money he might lose, it's about the self worth he will gain.

As for me, well, my first investment looks like it's gone sour, and the nice return I expected to have today hasn't materialised. Not all is lost, I may get the return next year instead. In the mean time, I've lost my fear. I'm starting to do more research to find an investment property. I'm making financial plans with my new partner. I'm somehow finding that path between the secure employee and that adventurous business man.

Thank you Dad.