Friday, October 08, 1999

Went to Oslo over the weekend as L was singing in a concert, which is why I’ve not been about on the Q. Lots of supportive messages when I came back - Thank you so much!

However, continued the slide by smoking about 5 on Saturday night, and about 8 on Monday when I got back. Both were while I was in the pub drinking and having a good time. TexasAnne rightly points out that I need to find alternative ways to relax. An idea would be to avoid the pub altogether, but I don’t want to deny myself the good things about the pub - friends, food and drink. Shall have to work something out soon.

I’m also developing a nasty cold and the phlegm is getting a little horrid.

Work is more interesting, somehow. No idea why. Same shit, better consistency. At least that helps me to keep my mind off the smoking.

Married life is wonderful. The smallest things she does seem to trigger all these wonderful feelings. I’ll catch her smiling or just thinking and say to myself – “That’s my wife and she’s amazing.”

Have to use that to remind myself how much she hates me smoking, and use that energy to feed my will power to keep the quit.

Thursday, October 07, 1999

Slipping

Last Friday I had three
Tuesday I had three
Yesterday I had one
Today I have had one

The cravings have also started to get worse!